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When I moved back to London from Australia, a lot of people asked “why?”  After going through some of my reasons, the most consistent response I got was “but you looked so happy”. 

To use a quote from Steve Maraboli “Happiness is not the absence of problems; it's the ability to deal with them.”

It is very common for most of us to think that having problems or challenges in our life is incompatible with happiness. In fact, we see a lot of self-help advice encouraging us to think positive thoughts or visualise the life we want. This does have a place in creating change, however addressing an undesirable situation, challenge or experience in your life can actually be a positive experience.

Growing up, my mum often told me that I don't like to be wrong. I can kind of agree with this. I spent a lot of my life being incredibly head strong. I could not be told or corrected, even at a very early age. I always thought I was right.

It occurred to me this week that my life has been in a "state of flux" for two years. As someone who loves routine, I actually felt anxious when I thought about it. At the same time I realised that I have spent two years being wrong - and for the first time this made me incredibly happy.

I bet all or most of you have said at some point in the last week "I am so busy".

Now I can't take credit for the title of this post, I was reading Tim Ferris' '4 Hour Work Week', he wrote that busyness is a form of laziness and I think he is right.

It's usually this time of the year that we start setting goals or new year resolutions, but it is very rare that any of us celebrate our successes.

There is nothing wrong with setting goals, in fact as a coach I do this with all my clients. It is, however very common for many of us to be constantly striving to 'get something' or 'be someone' rather than reflecting and taking a moment to be grateful, and proud of who we are. 

"Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently I have had a number of people ask me if my life is 'really easy' now that I am living a life filled with love, happiness, vulnerability and positivity. The answer is "NO". Life isn't really easy and my world isn't perfect.

In my line of work, statements from my clients such as: "I don't want drama in my life and I don't want to be overweight anymore" are really common.

Does any of the above statements resonate with you? 

Despite being a regular thought pattern for so many of us, statements like that, focus on the negative and our unconscious mind (the part of the mind that stores our habits, experiences, thoughts and memories) can't tell the difference between a positive and a negative thought.

Do you ever find yourself giving advice to people? Trying to help them become better? Next time you do it ask yourself this: am I taking my own advice?

When I discovered that I didn’t love myself I stopped giving people advice. I realised that while I genuinely wanted to help people I wasn’t being the best version of myself and I had to make “me” the priority. I also realised that giving people advice made me feel better about myself which was actually my ego telling me I was a “good person”.

I made a deal with myself that I would listen and be there for other people but that I had to focus on taking my own advice if I was going to learn to love myself.

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